Didn't know where to turn to...

I'm the kinda person who keeps most things to myself. Actually, telling those stuff about "him" to my bffs were kinda odd. I don't usually do that. I really have no idea what went wrong. But I just want everyone to know I'm in love with this guy. A guy who may not even care if I existed or not.

But now, it has come to this point that, I don't dare to mention about "him" anymore. I mean, I still do mention him to my friends but not that frequent anymore. Sometimes I typed something about him wanting to tell my friends but ended up deleting those messages because I'm so afraid that I might annoy them. Ah come on! No one wants to hear my talking about "him" every single second. Pfffftttt... how pathetic I am. Missing someone that doesn't miss me back. Falling for someone that will not be there to catch me.

This is so sick! Why is he freaking younger than me? What a confidence killer! Bummer!!!!!!!! Why is he such a perfectionist? I don't even get the chance to catch his eyes. And why the hell he means so much to me when I barely know him? Why we have so much in common? Why when he told me he was jealous about the same thing I jealous about, I wanna run to him and hug him? (This one I know why, because I know how exactly that feels. It's like everyone in your family denies you, you're doing great but never good enough.)

Above all, WHY THE HELL I WANNA FALL FOR HIM?! Kill me somebody!

Gotta get back to study.